The following article is an interview with the great Pepin. No remarks made in this newspaper that may sound disrespectful to Pepin were intended. Conversations heard in a mocking tone should be reported and is punishable by death. By Bentley Benoist
Interviewer: You’re Pepin the Great, the esteemed king of the Franks. Correct? Pepin: That’s right.
I: I also am aware that your father, Charles Martel, ruled before you. Is this true?
P: True.
I: How does it feel to be a divine ruler?
P: It definitely feels good to be chosen by god, but there are many responsibilities encompassed with my title.
I: How did you claim the throne?
P: When my father Charles died, my older brother and I both received a half of the land.Our half-brother Grifo didn’t exactly make the cut though. 6 years later, my brother felt compelled, completely out of his own will, to join a monastery so I gained full control over my father’s kingdom.
I: Was your half brother out of the picture when you say he “didn’t make the cut”?
P: Unfortunately not. He escaped from his, um, safekeeping and ran to my sister’s husband, the Duke Odilo of Bavaria and started a revolt which I swiftly put to a close.
I: So when you were king, what was your first important course of action?
P: To begin with, I waged war with the Lombard king Aistulf. In the end result my kingdom’s land was extended.
I: What other important campaigns have you began?
P: I did conquer Septimania to expand my land, as well as Aquitaine in a series of grueling battles and fights.
I: Off the topic of war, you have a very lovely family. Could you tell me who they are?
P: Sure. Around 30 years ago I married a woman named Leutberga, but she is no longer in my company. I am now with my beloved Bertrada, who fathered all of my eight children.
I: Speaking of your children, could you tell me a bit about each one?
P: Of course. There’s Charles who is about in his mid 20’s currently, and Carloman who is just shy of 20. Gisela is no only a few years away from 10.
I: I thought you said you fathered 8 children with Bertrada. Why did you only list three?
P: The others, Pepin II, Chrothais, Adelais, and two others have passed away. *Sniff*
I: On a brighter note, which of your kids do you plan to give the throne to?
P: I don’t plan on leaving my kingdom any time soon, but Charles and Carloman would probably share the crown just as my brother and I did.
I: Back to the present, aren’t you planning on a campaign soon?
P: Yes I am, and I’ll be coming along.
I: Don’t you think that 54 is a bit old to go on a campaign?
P: Not at all.
I: Well, thanks for your time my lord. Maybe when you return we can meet again and discuss your adventures on the campaign.
P: That would be fantastic, thanks for having me.
Monk's interview by Cecily Zantorian
Q: Cecily Zantorian A: Monk
Q: The lifestyle of a monk is a very particular one. But what exactly must one do to become a monk? Are there certain qualifications that you need?
A: Qualifications? No. All are welcome, rich or poor, noble or peasant. After all we are all God’s children; who would we be to turn away our own? However, there is a certain process one must fulfill. All monks must take a vow of obedience, followed by simple vows at the end of the process. Four years later we take our solemn vows.
Q: How long have you personally been a monk?
A: Nearly 11 years.
Q: Mhm. So after 11 years you’ve had quite a bit of experience. What sort of rules must you live by?
A: Oh why there are many. We are not permitted to own land, or go beyond the monastery walls without the abbot’s consent. Also, we may not receive letters from home and are sent to bed early.
Q: How orderly. But wouldn’t you say these rules are bit rash-maybe even a little harsh?
A: I suppose towards the beginning of my journey as a monk I saw these rules as somewhat strict. But as I grew older and more mature I began to understand this living style and religion more-something that most people who are not monks fail to do. You see, these rules and restrictions protect us and help us lead a peaceful life. We can escape the violent world and lead a quiet and peaceful life.
Q: Yes, and what exactly are the punishments for violations of these rules?
A: It would depend on the severity of the situation. It could vary from being excluded from prayer to even expulsion.
Q: If you could leave your community, for even one day with no consequences, would you? Just one day.
A: Absolutely not! Even if I could, without the consequences, I would be failing myself as a monk. My religion, and my fellow monks, and even God would look upon me as a failure. My devotion to God is far too strong to break the rules that the lord himself has set out for us.
Q: So you are pleased with this lifestyle and do not regret leaving your old life behind?
A: Yes, I’m quite pleased with my life as it is and do not need anymore than I have.
Q: Of course, I see. Well from what you are telling me this seems like quite the peaceful lifestyle. So what exactly do you do in your daily life? Is there a daily routine?
A: My daily life consists of three main activities: worship, reading and manual labor. We usually begin our days in church, and also spend many hours reading from the bible. In addition, we set aside time for meditation and private prayer. We must also work hard at keeping our environment tidied. I wash and cook for the monastery as well as providing medical care for the community.
Q: Do you feel this is what you were meant to do in life?
A: Absolutely. God put me on this earth to live among my fellow monks, my brothers, all of God’s children! We are here to serve our lord and devote our entire lives to him.
Q: Mhm. And one final point I’d like to touch on is the choice of hairstyle for monks. Why do you have a shaved head except for the one strip around the head? Does it symbolize something?
A: Our hair is called a tonsure. A tonsure is a symbol of renunciation of worldly fashion and esteem.
Q: Very well, it was a pleasure speaking with you.
Q: You are famous for your autobiography, Il Milione (The Travels of Marco Polo) that was published a few years ago. How old were you when it was published?
A: I was 57 when it was made. One of the first manuscripts were in Paris, France. Another was sent to Berne and was translated into different languages.
Q: Who made Il Milione?
A: A fellow prisoner who just so happened to be a talented penman. I told him the adventures I had before we were captured.
Q: Captured? Prisoner? What happened?
A: Some Venetians and I were captured by the Genoese during our war when they defeated us. I was held prisoner for a year.
Q: It must have been a long year for you. Could you give a gist on the adventures you had?
A: Yes, the adventures I had were mostly when I was in Cathay, China. I was an envoy for Emperor Kublai Khan often. I had some of the strangest experiences with some of the Asian tribes.
Q: While you were in China, did you learn to speak chinese?
A: Yes I did. If I hadn’t learned Chinese I wouldn’t have been a very helpful envoy to the emperor.
Q: Was the emperor your friend?
A: In a way yes. He was first friends with my father and uncle who were retired merchants that had previously visited Cathay, China and had entertained the emperor on European customs. So he welcomed us when we came for a visit 39 years ago.
Q: Were you an adult when you came to Cathay, China?
A: Not yet. I was only 17 at the time and was accompanying my father and uncle on their journey from Persia to China.
Q: Well is there anything else you could tell us about your adventures? Or maybe a story of your life?
A: *chuckles* No, sorry, but you’ll have to read my biography to know more. I don’t want to spoil it anymore than I already have.
William Wallace's interview by Sir. Strong Spalding- Udolf
Q - Sir. Strong Spalding - Udolf A - William Wallace
1Q.) Did you support the liberating of Scotland?
1A.) Yes.
2Q.) What was it like living under British rule?
2A.) We were living in fear and tyranny. The Soldiers would come into our huts and take our possessions and our taxes.
3Q.) Did you have a plan in fighting all of those battles?
3A.) No, i did not previously have a plan in fighting those battles. I just lead a group of men and attacked the closest British posts.
4Q.) Did you plan to overthrow Britain or just liberate Scotland?
4A.) I planned to overthrow England; I wanted to not only free Scotland but all the countries that the British ruled.
5Q.) What age did you leave Scotland? What age did you come back to Scotland?
5A.) I left when my family was killed at the age of 23. I came back to Scotland after a year when I was 24.
6Q.) When your family was killed why did you come back to Scotland?
6A.) I wanted to come back and be with the women that I fell in love with. I also wanted to free Scotland and avenge my family.
7Q.) Why did you leave Scotland for France?
7A.) When the British killed my family I was so upset and I needed to talk to a family member so I went to visited my uncle in Rome. I also needed a break from the torturous British soldiers.
8Q.) Why do you think people were so influenced by you?
8A.) When I fought, I fought fearlessly and valiantly. I think people really liked the idea of a free Scotland.
9Q.) Why didn’t you take the land and a job as a landlord offered by the British?
9A.) I wanted to be loyal to my country and wanted everyone to be free not just me.
10Q.) If you could do anything different in plotting against the British, what would it be?
10A.)I would have been more careful at choosing who I trusted. I would also better prepared our army for all the battles. I would have been more sly and deceptive. But other wise I have no regrets.