England-- Last night, the royal carrier pigeon mews was attacked and scorched by the Etsy, the royal guard dragon. Etsy's chain was unhooked last night, by a foolish knight, who has since been disbanded from the Round Table and is soon to be beheaded. The knight says he just wanted to take out Etsy for a fly.
“I didn’t mean for her to get out! I just wanted to fly her for a bit.” said the Knight.
Most of these birds had been scorched or gobbled up. One had even been shot by a guard from his arrow slit position! The carrier pigeons were going to leave today to bring messages to the suppliers on the nobles land to bring word of the orders for produce this weeks. Needless to say the orders did not get through and there will be no fresh vegetables this week.
Also, once Etsy was finished with the mews she also decided to blow her fiery breath on the market and a few local shops. They were burnt down and and closed for business until further notice. Only one death and two injuries from this horrible incident, were reported.
Etsy was from the Blue Kingdom, given to our kingdom no more than 5 or 6 moons ago. So far, Etsy has not been hurt for her crime and will not be returned, as she is needed to protect the front gates.
For those who don’t know Etsy, she is a teal dragon with a no nonsense attitude. She also has glittery scales and spines down her back, making her beauty and protection capabilities priceless to our kingdom.
Again, remember there will be no vegetables this week, so be sure to plan your meals accordingly, as to not cause havoc on those who do have a few left. The castles banquet has also been pushed back, as the kitchen does not have fresh produce to prepare. The King is very upset.
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Local Business Report
Bread By: Lady Penelope II
The local market has an added addition to it called the Bread, Bread, and more Bread store. As you can tell, it sells bread. They sell their food at a fairly low price for great quality loaves. This has been talked about all over the village and everyone is excited to have a new store to shop at. So far, since the business has gotten so much publicity over the past few moons, it has been doing extremely well. Hopefully they do not hike up the prices, fingers crossed. Anyways, the store owner is named Stanley Tall. He’s a local who’s family has lived in the same village for 4 generations. Everyone loves him because of his great personality and people skills. Hopefully the business can stay open for quite a while. All the best to Stanley!
Affair in Camelot?
By: Ellen Hardcastle
Camelot-- Ten moons ago, a scandal was found out in the kingdom of Camelot. A scandal that has led to war. Sir Lancelot of the Round Table and Queen Guinevere were found with each other by Sir Mordred and his knights.
Sir Mordred swore to King Arthur of Camelot that his queen and his most loyal knight that their affair was blossoming and that he would prove to the king that it was so. Sir Mordred was not to be proven wrong, so he barged into the queen’s chambers and there he was. Lancelot then slayed most of Sir Mordred’s knights as he fled away from the scene, leaving Sir Mordred injured.
This angered the monarch of Camelot and he sentenced his queen to be burnt at stake. Queen Guinevere was scheduled to be dead by now, but at the day of the burning, Sir Lancelot swooped in and saved the queen.
Lancelot’s deeds, however, spark a war. King Arthur of Camelot declared war against Sir Lancelot of Lake. All over Camelot, the King and his most loyal knight, Sir Gawaine are trying to rally up supporters for their cause.
"Sir Lancelot is a traitor!" Sir Gawaine declared, waving a fist in the air. "He broke the laws of chivalry and therefore must be punished!"
There has been no word from Sir Lancelot of Lake, but it is clear that many knights are on his side of the war. Sir Lancelot was well liked among the Knights of the Long Table.
"It was common knowledge of he and Gwen's affair," Sir Leon admitted. "But we didn't think it would actually go this far."
As of this moment, King Arthur and his cavalry are heading towards Lake, where he and his once faithful knight shall stand off and fight.
Local Business Report
Blacksmith Report By: Lady Primeveire
This business report today will be on a new Blacksmith’s business. Lord Hugh’s Blacksmiths business is doing well. Hugh started his blacksmith company no more than a few moons ago. The King had invested in the business now being called Metal and Such. As you may know, the business is located next to the market. Hugh started his blacksmiths business in order to live out his life time dream as a blacksmith. He is currently making swords, shields and armor. Also, he provides the king with supplies for the knights, and can sell to the public. So far, it doesn't look like Metal and Such will be closing anytime soon. But, as we all know any business need our support. Without more business from the public Hugh might have to close down shop as the King will not continue to support the blacksmith. But do not fear because Hugh’s business is doing is a humongous success.
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Exclusive interview with the Royal Gardener
By: Lady Primeveire
The proper keeping of the royal gardens/grounds is a very important job. When people from other kingdoms see our beautiful castle, with perfectly trimmed hedges, their eyes will light up and their opinion of us will automatically improve. The flowers and the beauty they provide to our wonderful kingdom is greatly underappreciated. Think of your life without flowers, plants, and greenery. Pretty dull huh. A lot goes into making this kingdom a gorgeous place to live and thrive. There are countless numbers of flowers, plants and shrubbery that the royal gardeners are in charge of making the world beautiful. Most don’t know of the duties and the importance of the flowers around our palace. There are many people and positions that go into making our flowers beautiful.
One of the most important people is Lady Samantha Green, the head of the royal gardens and groundskeeping. Green has a book coming out this month on her secret tips and tricks to having the perfect garden life. As you can probably guess Lady Green, has a very busy job and we were able to catch up with him on his daily route around the castle’s royal gardens. In this executive interview with Green, we will hear about her book release, how she feels in her job and what it takes to be a royal gardener.
Lady Primeveire : So, Lady Green, first off, thanks for letting us talk to you today. Lets start off simple. What kind of flowers and plants to you grown here in the royal gardens?
Green: Thanks you. Well, here in these gardens we grow a lot of different flowers, but mainly we grow the flowers that her majesty, the queen, prefers. We also grow a periwinkle that the princess favors. In Fact almost every week we cut some for her. But the queen requests us to grow tulips, mainly red and yellow, the colors of their family crest. We also grown daisies, roses, violets and lilies. Some plants we grow also include our famous peach trees and walnut trees. So there is a wide variety here.
LP: Do you enjoy gardening and overseeing all the plants here?
G: Well, for this job its impossible not to be as obsessed with flowers and greenery as i am. So yes, i really do. To me its an art form and i explain that further in my book. The highlight of my day is waking up and taking my horse, Flower, out to check on, smell and examine all of the plants we have here. It’s a wonderful job and I love it.
LP: What are your flowers used for around the castle?
G: Well, most people think that the flowers are just grown and there for the outside beauty of the castle. But, in reality, the flowers can be cut and brought inside, sold in the market to bring in money for the castle, used to decorate the castle for formal events and everyday life. And yes, they are also used to make the outside of the castle look nicer. But I also like to believe that the flowers are used to make people happier.
LP: What is your favorite thing about flowers and greenery?
G: My favorite thing would have to be the sent they produce. As I walk by them every morning, it makes my so happy and full of joy to smell that wonderful smell. There’s nothing else like it. Also, I love the way the flowers, as well as the greenery brighten up my day, and make everyone happy and calm.
LP: As you may know, most of the kingdom’s people haven’t, nor will ever see, the inside of the royal gardens. Are the gardens nice?
G: The gardens are beautiful. I wish more people were able to get to see them. Personally, I think the gardens should be open to the public. There is just too much beauty here to not be shared with everyone. I love the gardens. Saying they are simply “nice” is a huge understatement. They are extremely gorgeous.
LP: Do you feel the work you do is appreciated by the KIng and/or the rest of the royal family?
G: Well, off the record yes, sometimes I do wish that the King would show more respect for my flowers. Him being so manly, I don’t think he’ll really ever appreciate the beauty of flowers but it does fill my heart with joy when I deliver the young princess’s flowers every morning. To see her eyes light up, it does make me feel a little appreciated by the royals.
LP: Do you feel you deserve a higher pay than your current salary?
G: Ummm... It would be nice to have a higher salary because the work I do is hard and my job position puts me under a lot of pressure and sometimes... I think the king expects an excessive amount of perfection to me but I do get a fair salary... but yes I think it would be nice to be paid more, but the king does treat me... ummm... well.
LP: You sound unsure about that.
G: The King is a good man, I just wish I had a higher pay rate. Next question please...
LP: So we know you have a new book coming out about the tips and tricks for a garden in the next few new moons. The title of the book is Perfection for Plants and Flowers. Why did you pick this particular title?
G: Well, I don’t think “It sounded good” is the response you're looking for (Chuckles). Well, I believe that every lord and lady wants a good garden, and in turn that means a “perfect” garden and a beautiful garden. In the book, I also include how to not only keep your garden looking spectacular, but to also making it a healthy garden. In the book I talk about my “tips and tricks” to my perfect garden and short section on my life as a gardener is included as well.
LP: Well, I know I am very excited to read it. One last question. Do you wish to continue being a gardener for as long as possible?
G: Oh Absolutely. I really enjoy my work, even if there is a bad day. Though it would be nice to not have the overseeing aspect of my job. I’d rather be able to just garden and work with plants, rather than having to oversee the junior gardeners. I do hope I can be a gardener for the rest of my life. It’s something I really enjoy doing and I love it!
King’s Horse Stolen!
ENGLAND- Last week, King Fergus’ favorite horse, Kiwi, was stolen.
King Fergus woke up to find the royal stables destroyed. Even worse, his horse, and his knight’s horses, were all missing. He immediately sent his carrier pigeon to get help. “I was so worried about Kiwi,” the King explained. “She doesn’t like to be alone, and she never trusts anyone but me. I have trained her exceptionally well, I would hate to have to go through this again.”
The only explanation of the theft is that the thieves crossed the castle’s moat on horseback, snuck past the royal guards.
All of the armor and tack was stolen as well. Fergus has ordered his servants to buy new armor and saddles for him and his best knights. In the words of the king “Only the best will do!”
The king has requested a full investigation. All horses in the village will be seized and examined. Suspicious horses will be kept and the thieved will be executed.
The horses the king is most concerned for are: Kiwi the Haflinger, Jack the Thoroughbred, Ben the buckskin warmblood, and Mango the Paint. These horses were prized by King Fergus
The servants went to buy new saddles and armor today. In total, it cost 2,000 shillings. The king will be taxing all possible thieves. Parliament is trying to avoid taxing low income peasants, but it is difficult to sway the king’s opinion when he is upset.
If anyone has spotted the thieves, armor, or tack, please send a carrier pigeon immediately to Fergus’ castle. A reward of 3 shillings will be given.
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Exclusive Interview: The Bold and Beautiful: Eleanor of Aquitaine
Eleanor of Aquitaine
By: Ellen Hardcastle
Women these days aren’t known as being powerful rulers. Even more, women aren’t known for divorcing their husbands. If you ever go around the streets and tell the tale of a woman of such fascination, they would think you’ve gone mad! But yet, there is a woman out there who is all these things and more.
Eleanor of Aquitaine was born in Aquitaine, France to the most honorable duke, Duke William X of Aquitaine and his wife, Duchess Aenor of Chatellerault. Born in an aristocratic society, as Aquitaine is, Eleanor was able to grow in the front of education and civility. As quite a beauty, Eleanor was married off to King Louis VII. She recently wrote a book on The Power of Woman, which will come out in March.
Their relationship soon turned sour as the second crusade wore on with her getting comfortable with her cousin, Raymond. The couple soon split and Eleanor moved on to King Henry II, king of England. Between the two of them, she birthed five heirs to the throne of England. And yet again, she divorced the king of England! Not many woman can say that.
I had the most honorable experience of meeting up with the Queen of England for a light brunch in her deluxe castle. As I walked into the garden where we would have our brunch, I couldn’t help but notice the fair ruler already there. Her dress was a fine emerald green and her blonde hair was pinned up to perfection. It made me feel inadequate compared to her in my peasant garb. She admitted an air of power and I now understood why many fell to their knees for her.
She looked up from her chair and gave me a small smile. “Oh, welcome Ellen,” she said, her voice light and airy. “Have a seat. Have I’ve got a feast for you.” I took a seat and fumbled around with my parchment. There, the interview began as the first course was served; sweet cakes.
Q: “You’re such a powerful ruler that it seems like you have no time at all to yourself! What might you do when you have free time?”
A:“I write poetry. It’s a way to get my feelings out. And it’s a lifesaver because quite a lot, I have no room in my life to properly express myself. I also enjoy hunting. It’s not something quite ladylike, but hey, I’m the ruler of England! I can do that if I so please.”
Q: “What’s your favorite part of being the Queen of England?”
A:“Well, even though it’s a stressful job, it can be quite rewarding. For instance, the luxury I live in. I wouldn’t be where I am today without myself being a noble, so I am thankful from where I’m from. I quite like living in the castle because the feasts we throw here are absolutely spectacular and the living quarters are to die for. But I also care for my subjects so another benefit of my job is that I get to know that my citizens are safe and sound.”
IQ: “So, I know that recently you went on the Second Crusade. What are your opinions on it?”
A sour look washed upon the beauty’s face but she answered with great thought.
A:“Well, I was forced to go. Pope Eugenius III was begging me and Louis VII to embark on this journey. I was wary to go but Louis VII was all up to it. But, you know, anything to serve God. I fought like a man in those wars and I am proud of that. On the way I met with my long lost cousin Raymond. He was quite a catch, but you know; life happens. It’s all in the past now so, shall we move on?”
Servants then came out with an assortment of savory meats, fresh, ripe fruit, and puddings of all sorts. My mouth watered and the Queen said in her native language, French, “Bon Appetit!” As we dug in, I continued with the questions.
Q: “You’re such a powerful woman, I mean not many girls can say that they rule England with an iron fist. So tell me, what advice would you give girls out there?”
A: “Well, first of all; men don’t own you. As hard as you can try, as long as you have spirit in you, they can’t hold you down. Women can be hard as nails and without us, quite frankly, they’d be useless. Also, keep a heart on your sleeve because hope will get you anywhere and be firm with what you want. You can’t be all flimsy with control, you’ve got to have a strong hold. And of course, do it with grace and that will take you pretty far.”
As dinner progressed, I decided to dig deeper with the queen.
Q:“After the Second Crusade, your relationship with King Louis VII of France was on the rocks. It was so bad that you two split. Can you indulge deeper on why?”
There is a moment of awkward silence between the two of us but she sighs.
A:“Louis and I had some... differences. At first, we were so in love, but we were so young. We were too young to realize that it wasn’t going to work. Our marriage was an arrangement anyway. Plus, he was more war oriented with the Second Crusade. I wanted to stay back! We had our own subjects to take care of in France! And when I came along, he had the nerve to act outraged when I decided to help out by armoring up and helping them win! And then I met Raymond. Oh, Raymond. He was quite the man. He was more of a man than Louis had ever been. And I won’t say or not that Raymond and I had a romantic rendezvous, but Louis didn’t like the fact that he and I spent time with each other and when we came back home, that was it. I filed the divorce.”
I nodded understandingly and asked,
Q: “And a few weeks later, you married King Henry II of England. The relationship with Henry and you seemed like a match made in heaven. But then something turned sour and you two divorced. Why is that?”
Her composer of elegance faltered and it seemed like she was enjoying finally getting all these pent up emotions off her chest that poetry could not take away.
A: “Henry was not satisfied with me I suppose. He had a mistress of his own and I would not stand for it. So I did what I had to do, I divorced him. Now, we don’t keep in touch that much but otherwise, all is well between us.”
Q: “And do your children support you with your decision to divorce Henry?”
A: “Of course! They’re my children! They were raised by the Church and they know for a fact that adultery is wrong! It’s one of the seven sins, everybody knows that. My children are good people and I couldn’t imagine a world without them. They are truly the apples of my eye.”
Q: “Recently there were rumors that Henry II sent knights to kill Thomas Becket. Any thoughts on it?”
A: “I do believe that the rumors are true. It seems like a thing Henry would do. He didn’t like it when people opposed him. Thomas Becket was such a radical thinker that inspired many who didn’t like what Henry was doing, so of course Henry would do something about it. And if he did do it, I think that he stepped over the line. Taking a man’s life for thinking is like killing the hungry for eating. It’s absolutely ludicrous.”
We finished up our meal and I got up and shook hands with the famed Queen. “Thank you for letting me interview you.” I said.
She smiled and nodded. “Of course, my pleasure.”
Knight Loses his Marbles!
Phillip IV was ready for his match, when he realized that his armor was missing. Hours and hours of searching later, he realized that there was just no hope in being able to defeat his enemy, until...
By: Lady Penelope II
KNIGHT’S HOME- Knight Phillip wonders where his armor could be at a time where he desperately needs it. His armor is stolen and he has no clue where it could be.
Knight Phillip IV was about to fight his greatest foe at the famous arena. Phillip searched and searched although he still couldn’t find his armor. Phillip IV realized that maybe his archenemy was too scared to fight him and he hid his armor from him so that he would have to forfeit and lose automatically. “Rather cowardly,” says Phillip.
Phillip was extremely disappointed for he wanted to defeat his competitor (who chose not to be named in this article). Many hours later, Phillip was still searching for his sword and the rest of his armor.
Phillip sent a carrier pigeon out to let the people know that his armor had been stolen. Everyone gasped and they too wondered who could have taken it. Phillip didn’t promise a reward if his things were found, so one really bothered to look for his armor. No one saw Phillip, so they never realized that what he was looking for was closer than anyone could have imagined.
He fell to the ground in shame for he was ashamed of himself for not even being able to find his own armor. When he fell to the ground, he heard the sounds of metal clashing together. He noticed that it sounds appeared to be fairly close and he wondered where it was coming from...
A moment later he realized that he was in fact IN his armor. He chuckled. He felt silly for not realizing that he was wearing what exactly he was looking for.
“What a fool,” said his antagonist, “blaming me for his own mistakes. He should be ashamed. How can I fight someone like that? I just don’t accept challenges from people like him.”
The fight never happened and Philip really still has no idea what’s going on. Everyone thinks he lost his marbles... Maybe he did, but he had to have some to lose some. The poor guy thought he lost his pants the other day, guess where he found them?
Phillip was never a very bright child. He was never at the top of his class but always at the bottom. This really explains why he did one of the most foolish things to ruin his reputation.
Phillip later was hospitalized because his parents just couldn’t take it. They really think that he’s nuts and needs help. Poor Phillip.
Weather Report
England- This week we will be experiencing cloudy skies on Monday thru thursday, with no precipitation. On friday, there will be sun throughout the skies, so it might be a good day for a friendly battle between knights or a discus throwing. Next week we will be experiencing some scattered rain and soon some violent storms so its a good idea to keep you halks inside your living quarters. Also, with Thales’s, a greek astronomer, theory, we will have a solar eclipse this week, which leaves our day counters with the difficulty of saying one moon or two moons ago.
Sunday- Light rain, no wind Monday- cloudy, little wind, no precipitation Tuesday- Cloudy, no wind Wednesday- Cloudy Thursday- Partly cloudy, light rain over the east district Friday- Sunny, no precipitation, no wind Saturday- Partly Sunny, Windy
Obituaries
Lionel Jankenson 1213-1236 Birthplace: London, England Place of Death: London, England Written by the Jankenson family
Lionel Jankenson was a fine young man. He was bright, very strong and brave. Lionel worked for his money and took care of his family. He was married with two children. It’s a shame that he had to leave the earth, leaving behind a beautiful family. Jankenson was lovely as a child. He was behaved and loved the outdoors. He always helped his elders and respected all. Jankenson passed away from a sickness that no one can explain. Janksenson was just 23 years of age.
Arthur Samuel II 1200-1236 Birthplace: Paris, France Place of Death: Paris, France Written by the daughters of Arthur Samuel II
Arthur was a hard-working man. He has two daughters who were devastated to see him pass. He passed away from old age. Already being 36 is a great age to pass. At least he wasn’t in his child years. Arthur really was more concerned for himself than his family or of anyone else. You could say he was selfish, but he was still a father. Arthur wasn’t the best person you would ever meet, but deep, deep down inside, his daughters knew that he loved them.
Samantha Fury 1230-1236 Birthplace: London, England Place of Death: London, England Written by the parents of Samantha Fury
Samantha Fury was a bright, lively and happy child. She had 8 other siblings and her parents just couldn’t provide for all of them. Samantha’s family said that she could have changed the world if she hadn’t have passed away so soon. Her brothers and sisters knew her as Sammie and was rarely ever called Samantha. Samantha passed away from malnutrition and her parents are devastated. Samantha’s parents are working harder than ever to make sure their other children won’t pass away in the same way.
Britain in Shock
By: Lady Celestia Britain is in shock with the news of a cheating scandal in a recent jousting tournament.
William of Winserberry is known all around for his natural skill for jousting, a much loved sport. He is a kind-hearted soul who spends his free time practicing the art of playing the harpsichord. He is referred to as the “Jousting King.” Fans of William are very loyal and never miss a tournament. He is loved by all.
William has recently traveled to france for a tournament against his rival Anthony of Knorington, where William took the prize for the game. The two have always had fierce matches, but Anthony has always taken home the prize. William’s recent win was a shock to all. Instantly, spectators started to question William of cheating.
All jousting matches are monitored closely by a referee to make sure no nonsense was occurring. Since matches between Anthony and William are always a tight race, the coordinators of the games make sure to have two extra referees.
After the match, all of the refs were talked to shortly after to get their point of view on the win. All three said that there was nothing visible that William did to cheat, but what was visible was not the problem.
Anthony left the match shortly after William’s win, since he was ashamed that his winning streak was over. William stayed for a while to soak up the victory. The press swarmed him with questions of cheating. Will denied all accusations and asked to be escorted home, to be free of harassment.
The press followed him home, ignoring Will request to be left alone. While waiting outside the home, William then left the home to train for his next match. While one his way to his horse, reporters said a suspicios sack fell out of his cape.
The sack was reported to have some sort of herb in it that no one could recognize. A medical team was called in to examine on the case. Yesterday, it was released that in the sack was fermented herbs. Much like fermented grapes used to make wine, these newly found herbs can be “drug like” when fermented.
Just yesterday, William and his coach were confronted while leaving the training arena and asked if he gave Will the herbs to act as a new thing called a “steroid”. His coach Peter said no but William was wanted to take a test to prove he was cheating.
As for Anthony, he recently said “William was different today, and was not playing as usual. I could tell he cheated in some way”
William was found guilty of taking the fermented herbs, and was stripped of all of his titles and rewarded rings. He was asked to step down from the game of jousting. His fans are disappointed. William has not commented on the incident.