Delicious Deserts
By Lady Flora Brereton
Leche Lumbard (date bars)
2. Simmer until the dates are soft. This usually takes around 10 minutes. 3. Drain the dates, but keep the liquid mixture. 4. Grind the dates until smooth and return them to the pot. 5. Add the liquid mixture the dates were cooked in, the sugar, the cinnamon, and the ginger. 6. Boil lightly. 7. Remove from heat and add the bread crumbs slowly. 8. Mix completely. 9. Press out flat, slice into 1 by 1 squares, and enjoy! |
Custard
1. In a bowl, beat the eggs. 2. Place eggs through a strainer into the milk or cream. 3. Heat on a low heat while stirring. 4. Add the salt, saffron, cloves, mace, and ginger. 5. When the mixture has gotten hot, add the sugar. Stir the mixture until it has gotten thick. 6. Pour into a room-temperature bowl and place the bowl on ice. 7. Stir until even thicker and even. 8. Refrigerate if necessary, and enjoy! |
A Stay at the Castle of King Lenador
By Flora Brereton
On a long journey, I stopped at King Lenador’s castle for two knights. Before I left, he asked me to write a good review in the Yorke Times. I will give him a review, but it unfortunately will not be a good one. Imagine that after a long hard journey, you stop at a castle. You have given this King much before, and so you have no doubt that he will let you stay and that he will treat you well. When you enter, they allow you to stay and they give you the room in the basement, not too far away from the dungeons. When you go to dinner, the food has obviously been sitting around for a while before it was served and it is obviously a several weeks old. You don’t eat much. The jesters that attempt to entertain you say jokes that make no sense. You don’t laugh at all. After dinner, you sleep on a hard cot, and spend much of the night awake. The next day, the kingdom makes only feeble attempts to entertain you. After another horrid knight, you finally leave and vow never to return. King Lenador, next time you ask a reporter to write a review that makes you look good, make sure that they see you as a good host.
Lancelot isn't great, he's Legendary
Lord Sunday
Every Medieval peasant knows of the sport of the Joust. Not every peasant
(though all the nobles know about) Sir Lancelot of the Lake. He was the greatest jouster
in the sport. At one point of his career is jousting, he was so good that no one even
wanted to come near him because they thought his sheer awesomeness at jousting
would fry their pants off.
Lancelot’s average FPPS (foot-pounds per second) is an extremely high 245 fpps
which could knock Duke Schwarzenegger of Cale- Fornia down to his feet. His average
speed on foot is 56 MPH which means if you get off of your horse, you’re not escaping.
His win record is 1354 wins to 1 loss. Lancelot has only ever lost a single joust in his life
and that was his last Joust ever. He was faced up against King Arthur in the last round,
and even then there was such a slim margin between Arthur falling and Arthur keeping
up. Lancelot, other than that has won every single Joust that he has been to, he even
won a joust that was rigged for him to lose.
(though all the nobles know about) Sir Lancelot of the Lake. He was the greatest jouster
in the sport. At one point of his career is jousting, he was so good that no one even
wanted to come near him because they thought his sheer awesomeness at jousting
would fry their pants off.
Lancelot’s average FPPS (foot-pounds per second) is an extremely high 245 fpps
which could knock Duke Schwarzenegger of Cale- Fornia down to his feet. His average
speed on foot is 56 MPH which means if you get off of your horse, you’re not escaping.
His win record is 1354 wins to 1 loss. Lancelot has only ever lost a single joust in his life
and that was his last Joust ever. He was faced up against King Arthur in the last round,
and even then there was such a slim margin between Arthur falling and Arthur keeping
up. Lancelot, other than that has won every single Joust that he has been to, he even
won a joust that was rigged for him to lose.
Wagon 3000
THE WAGON 3000 IS THE NEW THING IN THE TRANSPORTATION INDUSTRY. IT HAS TWO WHOLE WHEELS THAT ARE REALLY STRONG (Not Verified). IT CAN HOLD UP TO A WHOPPING 50 POUNDS
Lord Humphrey Dunforth III
Lord Humphrey Dunforth III
The Olde Horoscopes
Brought to you by Lord Sunday
Aquarius ( Jan 20 - Feb 18), a great life ahead does God plan for you, you shall head up to a noble command and find great religious piety, Aquarius. You could make your family a dynasty to behold or marry into an already great dynasty.
Pisces ( Feb 19 - Mar 20), picking the wrong way where the right way is obvious will bring you great adventures should you choose to do so, Pisces.
Aries ( Mar 21 - Apr 19), should you wish to take a risk later this year, you shall have a joyous year, Aries.
Taurus ( April 20 - May 20), a friend’s great failure or success may lead you to motivation for great things should you know what friend, Taurus.
Gemini ( May 21 - Jun 20), ahead lies a treacherous path, lightly trodden, but well worth the risk. Should you choose to walk the path you will become a champion, Gemini.
Cancer ( Jun 21 - Jul 22), fascination in the inner church workings may send you way over your head. Be careful of what you find within the church, Cancer.
Leo ( Jul 23 - Aug 22), a trip to the great lands of Libya may bring your namesake of Leo to a true reality as after your return, they shall call you the Lion, Leo.
Virgo ( Aug 23 - Sep 22), the name of your game is chivalrie, and the strict protection of Church and Lord. Following your honest heart may prove a wise choice, Virgo.
Libra ( Sep 23 - Oct 22), the greatest of them all you shall become, Libra. You shall pioneer something that will last forever and your name shall always ring off the walls of schools everywhere, Libra.
Scorpio ( Oct 23 - Nov 21), if certain cards are played right, your enemies shall bow before you at the table of defeat. Be careful though because friend does not mean friendly... good luck Scorpio.
Sagittarius ( Nov 22 - Dec 21), a life like any other common man [or woman (I don’t judge)] except for the fact that you will find the perfect partner, honest , attractive, and Semper Fidelis. Enjoy, Sagittarius.
Capricorn ( Dec 22 - Jan 19), the few years ahead will seem like a death sentence from God, but don’t fret because ultimate happiness waits you at the end. Survive, Capricorn.
Pisces ( Feb 19 - Mar 20), picking the wrong way where the right way is obvious will bring you great adventures should you choose to do so, Pisces.
Aries ( Mar 21 - Apr 19), should you wish to take a risk later this year, you shall have a joyous year, Aries.
Taurus ( April 20 - May 20), a friend’s great failure or success may lead you to motivation for great things should you know what friend, Taurus.
Gemini ( May 21 - Jun 20), ahead lies a treacherous path, lightly trodden, but well worth the risk. Should you choose to walk the path you will become a champion, Gemini.
Cancer ( Jun 21 - Jul 22), fascination in the inner church workings may send you way over your head. Be careful of what you find within the church, Cancer.
Leo ( Jul 23 - Aug 22), a trip to the great lands of Libya may bring your namesake of Leo to a true reality as after your return, they shall call you the Lion, Leo.
Virgo ( Aug 23 - Sep 22), the name of your game is chivalrie, and the strict protection of Church and Lord. Following your honest heart may prove a wise choice, Virgo.
Libra ( Sep 23 - Oct 22), the greatest of them all you shall become, Libra. You shall pioneer something that will last forever and your name shall always ring off the walls of schools everywhere, Libra.
Scorpio ( Oct 23 - Nov 21), if certain cards are played right, your enemies shall bow before you at the table of defeat. Be careful though because friend does not mean friendly... good luck Scorpio.
Sagittarius ( Nov 22 - Dec 21), a life like any other common man [or woman (I don’t judge)] except for the fact that you will find the perfect partner, honest , attractive, and Semper Fidelis. Enjoy, Sagittarius.
Capricorn ( Dec 22 - Jan 19), the few years ahead will seem like a death sentence from God, but don’t fret because ultimate happiness waits you at the end. Survive, Capricorn.
Dear Lord Humphrey Dunforth III,
Dear Lord Humphrey Dunforth III,
I always get made fun of by the neighborhood royals.They always boss me around and push me around. They yell at me when I walk to school. What should I do?
-William
First off, you can just take a different route to school. If you can not avoid them or go a different route then make them laugh or change the topic. You should pray to God that they will stop harassing you.
Dear Lord Humphrey Dunforth III,
I get hit by my mom. Every time I go to say how my day was she yells at me and beats me with a giant wooden stick. She gets mad for no reasons. I would bring in the wood for the fire. She would hit me.
-Harold
Never ever take abuse from your mom. The dad is the boss in the house. If you have a problem with your mom be nice to your dad, so he will give you a favor when he is in a good mood. So ask your dad to deal with your mom when he is in a good mood and boom problem solved.
I always get made fun of by the neighborhood royals.They always boss me around and push me around. They yell at me when I walk to school. What should I do?
-William
First off, you can just take a different route to school. If you can not avoid them or go a different route then make them laugh or change the topic. You should pray to God that they will stop harassing you.
Dear Lord Humphrey Dunforth III,
I get hit by my mom. Every time I go to say how my day was she yells at me and beats me with a giant wooden stick. She gets mad for no reasons. I would bring in the wood for the fire. She would hit me.
-Harold
Never ever take abuse from your mom. The dad is the boss in the house. If you have a problem with your mom be nice to your dad, so he will give you a favor when he is in a good mood. So ask your dad to deal with your mom when he is in a good mood and boom problem solved.
The Weather for the Week
Sir Humphrey Bacon IV
Sunday: 50 degrees F
Monday: 43 degrees F
Tuesday: 62 degrees F
Wednesday: 49 degrees F
Thursday: 36 degrees F
Friday: 28 degrees F
Saturday: 45 degrees F
Monday: 43 degrees F
Tuesday: 62 degrees F
Wednesday: 49 degrees F
Thursday: 36 degrees F
Friday: 28 degrees F
Saturday: 45 degrees F
Death Notices
Sir Humphrey Bacon IV
Sir Bob died from the plague. He was a skilled blacksmith who we will all miss.
Lord Edur II died of unknown causes. He passed away in the night during his sleep.
John V choked to death. He was a doctor who helped everyone out a lot.
Lord Edur II died of unknown causes. He passed away in the night during his sleep.
John V choked to death. He was a doctor who helped everyone out a lot.
More information? Call Sir Humphrey Dunforth III
Weekly Blog:
Kill the Betrayers!
This Week’s blog: Lancelot
Guinevere and Lancelot caught together! What should we do!?!?!
Comments (10):
(tolecnalris1 has entered the chatroom)
(MeliagrancetheGREAT has entered the chatroom)
tolecnalris1: How could you post this?!? I thought you were my friend! Now I am DOOMED!!!!!
MeliagrancetheGREAT: Is that you, Lancelot? Who cares what happens to you? You should just die.
(Sirgawain has entered the chatroom)
tolecnalris1: Shut up Meliagrance the STUPID!!!
(MeliagrancetheGREAT has left the chatroom.)
(tolecnalris1 has left the chatroom.)
Sirgawain: Kill the unloyal knight! How DARE he betray Arthur? Not so trustworthy now, huh?!? Well, I hear that they are meeting at Guinevere’s chamber at twelve. Meet us there to see Lancelot the betrayer dead!!!
(Hertoc has entered the chatroom)
Hertoc: Give the poor knight a chance! He’ll prove his worth.
Sirgawain: 1. Very original name HECTOR! 2. Why should he survive? He’s betraying the King! He should be killed.
Hertoc: I have 2 things to say to that. 1: Look who’s talking. 2. LOOK WHO’S TALKING!!
(Hertoc has left the chatroom)
Guinevere and Lancelot caught together! What should we do!?!?!
Comments (10):
(tolecnalris1 has entered the chatroom)
(MeliagrancetheGREAT has entered the chatroom)
tolecnalris1: How could you post this?!? I thought you were my friend! Now I am DOOMED!!!!!
MeliagrancetheGREAT: Is that you, Lancelot? Who cares what happens to you? You should just die.
(Sirgawain has entered the chatroom)
tolecnalris1: Shut up Meliagrance the STUPID!!!
(MeliagrancetheGREAT has left the chatroom.)
(tolecnalris1 has left the chatroom.)
Sirgawain: Kill the unloyal knight! How DARE he betray Arthur? Not so trustworthy now, huh?!? Well, I hear that they are meeting at Guinevere’s chamber at twelve. Meet us there to see Lancelot the betrayer dead!!!
(Hertoc has entered the chatroom)
Hertoc: Give the poor knight a chance! He’ll prove his worth.
Sirgawain: 1. Very original name HECTOR! 2. Why should he survive? He’s betraying the King! He should be killed.
Hertoc: I have 2 things to say to that. 1: Look who’s talking. 2. LOOK WHO’S TALKING!!
(Hertoc has left the chatroom)
Letter to the Editor
Dear Sir Editor,
The many rats running in and through my house has me concerned. Waking up in the morning to rats trying to climb your cot is definately not a good way to start your day. I’m worried that some of my friends or myself will not be able to survive the rats and I would much rather not be affected by the black plague. I would like to praise the knights for fighting off the rats for me, and, also my husband. Many other women are complaining about how their spouses won’t touch the rats, even if the rat attacks that woman. I think that certain men should be hired so that the women don’t have to fight off the rats. If all the rats are killed, then less people will be affected by the black plague.
Sincerely, Lady Winifred Skeldergate
The many rats running in and through my house has me concerned. Waking up in the morning to rats trying to climb your cot is definately not a good way to start your day. I’m worried that some of my friends or myself will not be able to survive the rats and I would much rather not be affected by the black plague. I would like to praise the knights for fighting off the rats for me, and, also my husband. Many other women are complaining about how their spouses won’t touch the rats, even if the rat attacks that woman. I think that certain men should be hired so that the women don’t have to fight off the rats. If all the rats are killed, then less people will be affected by the black plague.
Sincerely, Lady Winifred Skeldergate
Index of Pages
Lady Flora Brereton
- Page 1- Fun Stuff
- Delicious Desserts
- King Arthur's Knights, Friends, and Relatives Crossword
- A Stay at the Castle of King Lenador
- Wagon 3000
- The Olde Horoscopes
- Dear Lord Humphrey Dunforth III,
- Weather for the Week
- Death Notices
- Squire Add
- Lancelot slays Meliangrace
- Guinevere and Lancelot found Together
- A Jousting Tourney
- Arthur Pulls Sword from Stone
- Sacking of a Castle
- Baltic Crusade
- Black Death
- Massacres of Jews
- 100 Year War
- Controlled King?
- Sir Lancelot
- King Arthur
- Queen Guinevere
- Teutonic Knight
- Black Knight
Page 2- Events
Page 3-News
Page 4- Interviews
- Page 5- Editorials
- Marriage for Women
- Women's Rights
- The Crusades Were a Waste
- Does The Pope Have More Power Than The King?