EditoriaIs
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Which Witch?By: Orton
You all (as in the entire literate population of England: not many) already know that Matthew Hopkins was recently selected to be the first “Witch-Finder General.” It is his job to find witches and condemn them. It is the most “respected” job an uneducated man could have. You all know how they test you for being a witch; mostly because half of our female population has been weighed against a bible, thrown in a lake, etc. to “determine” whether they are a witch. I’d first of all like to say that if there was such thing as a witch, they’d be “witchy” enough to prevent themselves from being caught. I’m not saying that there is no such thing as a witch. all that I’m saying is that if there are magical people; we obviously aren’t catching any of them. I personally think that our ‘“governments” (another word for “king and his pet nobles”) efforts would be better spent trying to teach people to read or count, because then at least you’d enjoy having this wonderful edition of The Peasant Weekly. If there is such thing as a witch, we obviously haven’t caught them. All they’re doing is hanging (or drowning, but if you drown when you’re thrown into the pond it proves that you’re innocent) a quarter of our population that is an important part of our society. Someone needs to take care of the house and children, and it certainly isn’t Bessie (see “What Have They Done to our Beer?!”). If you want to spend your life chasing witches, go ahead, but you shouldn’t be paid for it and you shouldn’t be able to hang people for it either, especially because you caught them, and if you caught them, you’re practically proving that their innocent of witchood. That should be how they judge the trial. The judge would say “Well; law enforcement (the king’s pet noble’s pet servants,) managed to bring you here, therefore, you’re free to go as soon as you pay 2000£ for wasting 20 seconds of my time.” What a better place the world would be. |
ShouId we go on the Crusades?By: Duke Bartholomew Florence Gifford
There is a large group of people saying that we shouldn’t go on the Crusades to spread our religion to the far reaches of the kingdom and beyond. They say that these people should be able to believe in whatever they want. Are they wrong? Yes, they are wrong. We must all come together below the one true religion. We are trying to get these people by making them go to heaven for believing that He is not our creator. |
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Corsets Must be AboIishedBy: Victoria Darcy
The wearing of corsets in our time must be abolished. Corsets danger the health of our beautiful young women, and why should we dare risk that? A common effect of wearing corsets for a prolonged period of time is heart damage. Damage can also occur in the lungs, circulation, stomach, liver, colon, muscles, uterus, breasts, gall bladder, and other organs. Women must stop wearing corsets. Corsets are worn because due to the tight lacing it creates the appearance of a small waist. All though this may sound appealing, corsets are a health risk. Since corsets are tied incredibly tight it is often difficult to breath while wearing corsets; women often fainted due to corsets. In fact, because women keep fainting fainting couches have been created. One would think that once women began fainting often, people would realize that corsets are not good for women. Corsets can be damaging to the heart because after extensive wearing of a corset a woman's ribs are pushed closer together, which causes her rib cage to become more compact. Some may wonder, “If corsets are so damaging why do women still wear them?” Women continue to wear corsets because of the pressure to have a small waistline. Rather than contorting their bodies and risking their health by wearing corsets women need to rearrange their priorities. Sure corsets make waists small and women feel more confident, but their health needs to come first. Women need to throw away corsets and pick up better confidence. |
Wisdom Teeth By: Lady Marie
Everyone is scared to go to the barber shop for their annual appointment. If you have the slightest bad tooth, they are sure to yank it out from its roots, with no painkillers or anything of that sort. Unfortunately, that obviously means that everyone in the village has had a few teeth pulled out. The only way to reduce the number of rotting teeth is by of course cleaning them with care. Women are especially concerned about dental care. The men, on the other hand, don’t care as much about their appearance. The only way to avoid the painful trips to the barber shop is by washing your teeth with a piece of cloth dipped in different herbs, or ashes of burnt rosemary. These herbs are very expensive, unfortunately only the wealthy can buy them. But for the unfortunate, there is always an old piece of clothing lying around, which they can tear apart, and put it to use for their mouths. It's no mystery why people are dying in such large quantities; it’s because of the plague. But, teeth infection are also very hazardous, victims will get very ill, and die. This form of death is becoming more and more popular. So make sure not to get lazy with washing your teeth; for it can not only cost a painful trip to the barber shop, but it can also cost you your life. |