![]() Lancelot Opens up about Love Scandal
Interviewer: Victoria Darcy Interviewee: Lancelot Q: What was it like to have King Arthur as a close friend? A: It was magnificent, Arthur was a very great man and a loyal friend. I was a knight in his court, we had known each other prior to this, however we grew closer through me being his knight. Many knew me as the best knight in the entire court, therefore Arthur did not want to lose me. Who would want to lose their best knight? Q: Ahh I see. Have you ever felt a regret about your betrayal of King Arthur? A: Of course I have, he was a close friend and colleague, he trusted me and I double crossed him. Q: So are you admitting what you did was wrong? A: Not exactly, I loved her, love is a strong emotion. Love can alter your thinking. There was a point in time where all I thought about was her; I just had to do something about it. Q: At that time in your life love overpowered friendship, this is what you are saying? A: Yes, exactly. Q: Who do you think is at fault for your affair with Arthur’s wife? A: I believe Guienevere and I are at fault. Q: How so? A: Well, Guienevere should have had the self control to be faithful to her husband. In addition, I should have been respectful of Arthur and Guienevere’s relationship. If I was a better friend I would have. I didn’t mean to hurt Arthur; it’s just, the moment I saw her, I knew. Q: So, you must believe in love at first sight. How did you know she was the one? A: It’s just one of those things you know. It’s very difficult for me to explain, you sort of get this feeling in the deepest innermost part of your heart and your heartbeat almost doubles. Also, I had contradicting feelings, I was happy, excited, scared, nervous, nauseous, and more. It has this effect on you. Love takes over. Q: What happens with you and Guienevere now? A: I don’t know, all I can do is hope for the absolute best. _____________________________________________________
Chatting with Monk John!![]() A-Monk John Q- Interviewer Lady Marie Q1: How do you spend your free time? A1: As a monk I don’t get much free time, because the time that I have, I spend doing chores like providing hospitality for our community, and I personally teach boys and novices. Q2: What is your daily routine? What are some of the chores that you do? A2: Our day centers on the Book of Hours. The book is like a schedule that we follow every day. Lauds is the first thing we do; it’s the Service of Divine that takes place in the morning. Matins is the night office. Nones is at 3:00 p.m., which is the fourth hour of the day. Terce is the second hour, at 9:00 am. And so on. Q3: How do you become a monk and what must you do to become one? A3: Anyone can become a monk, but once you take the vow of obedience you become a monk for life, and you can NOT resign. I was personally brought to the monks when I was a baby, my parent brought me to them so that I would grow up to be one of them, and this is called Oblate. Posulate is another way monks become who they are, it’s when a person is looking to become a monk, and lastly you can become a monk by first being a Novice, or in other words a student. Q4: What inspired you to become a monk? A4: I wanted to lead a peaceful life, and devote all of my time to God. Becoming a monk was also a way to escape violence, and be safe forever with my brothers (fellow monks). Q5: What do you think of Nobles? A5: It really isn’t my place to judge people. Like I said before, I am devoted to God, and God loves everyone ... rich or poor. So, so do I! Q6: What are some of the vows that you must take in order to become a monk? A6: There are three main vows that you must take in order to become a monk. There is the vow of Poverty, the vow of Chasity, and the vow of Obedience. Q7: What about the clothing that you wear, is it uncomfortable in anyway? What does it symbolize? A7: Well no, actually they are quite comfortable. They are just white robes with hoods that are tied at the waist. The robes symbolize simplicity. Q8: All of the Nobles treat you like slaves; do you get tired of being bossed around? A8: Those are just rumors. No, actually, we don’t have much contact with the Nobles, except for when we help them. |
The Long Awaited Interview With Robin Hood![]() Interview
The Long Awaited Interview With Robin Hood -Duke Bartholomew Florence Gifford 1513 A.D. BFG: Hello Robert Earl Of Huntington, or as the nearby townsmen say, Robin Hood. I hear that you have made yourself very well known all across England. How exactly have you done that? Hood: I appropriate a small amount of... items from the men too wealthy to know what to do with it all, and give it to the poor. BFG: What do you do if you are caught... appropriating these items? Hood: I am a very skilled archer and swordsman. I haven’t run into anything I can’t get out of yet BFG: You obviously couldn’t do this alone, who helps you? Hood: Little John, Friar Tuck, Will Scarlet, and Alan A’Dayle, The Merry Men. BFG: Where do you hide from the king’s soldiers? Hood: In Sherwood Forest in the county of Nottinghamshire, I’m afraid that is as specific as I can be. BFG: Well, what would you do if I told you the king gets this newspaper... Hood: Well, then I’m afraid I’d have to kill you. BFG: THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER!!! _____________________________________________________
Interview with William![]() Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening Peasants! Unfortunately, the highly anticipated interview with Doug had to be cancelled. Apparently he was caught stealing pigs in Rome, and he got slaughtered in the Coliseum. Apparently his last words were that he was sorry that he had to cancel the interview. Anyway, no big deal-I mean we at The Peasant Weekly are extremely sorry about what happened to him. The worst part of this all is that, now we no longer have someone interesting to talk to. Thankfully, we were able to bribe-I mean convince the great marksman William Tell to answer a few of our questions.
Orton: Mornin’ William. WT: Umm. Good Morning...umm... Orton: I’m wearing a nametag for a reason. WT: I can’t read in english. Orton: Oh. That’s too bad. Neither can half the people who get this paper. My name is Orton. WT:Oh. Orton: So, you come from Switzerland. What’s it like there? WT: Cold Orton: That’s good. How do you like it here in Britain? WT: It’s alright. Everyone here has been polite. Especially when they see my crossbow. Orton: So you’re enjoying yourself? WT: Not really. Orton: I mean in Britain. Not the interview. I don’t want to be here either. WT: Oh, yeah, Britain’s nice. Orton: Alright, that’s enough about my country. What’s been going on in yours? Why are you famous? WT: Umm...There was this tyrant named Gessler in a small village called Altdorf that I was passing through with my son. Gessler had a hat hanging in the middle of the square, and he was making everyone bow to it. I didn’t feel like it so he had us arrested... Orton: That seems a bit harsh for not bowing to a hat. Is that all? WT: No. Orton: Could you please continue? WT:... Oh. Yeah. So apparently my reputation with a crossbow was a bit...exaggerated. So then he said that we were going to be put to death. And then he said he wouldn’t kill me if I was able to shoot an apple off my son’s head. Orton: I’m sorry for your loss. WT: I know, I wasted a good bolt. Orton: What a waste. What type of crossbow do you use? WT: I don’t know what it’s called. My father gave it to me. Orton: Alright. Carry on with the story. WT: I shot the apple. but we got taken prisoner anyway. But then I escaped off the ship that we all were on. After that I ran to kussnacht, where the ship was going and I shot Gessler before he got off. Orton:I don’t believe anyone can shoot that well. Where did you learn to shoot like that? WT: I was born in Bürglen. Orton: I think it’s time to wrap this up, because I have to be home for supper; ‘else my wife might strangle me. I have one last question. WT:Go ahead. Orton: You’ve recently been compared to the likes of Palnatoki. Do you think that you deserve all of the attention that you’ve been getting recently? WT: I don’t think so. I think a lot of people would have done the same thing in my situation. I just happened to be the one in it. Orton: Thanks for your time. How much do we owe you now? WT: Tell that scribe over there to stop recording this. Orton: Alright. You! Yeah you! Go home! |